Posted: August 27, 2012 in Uncategorized
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Posted: 21st June 2012 by Thomas Mcdermott in Fiction Action Adventure Thriller

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     In the book Immortal Beauty, one of the main themes is the recurrence of the past, or pasts. Years ago I had a friend who was older than myself and he would say things like: “When you’ve lived as long as I have you will begin to realize that things come back to you again and again.” This piqued my curiosity and I asked him to elaborate. He believed that in this life we all have issues and problems and things that make life unpleasant, difficult, or even impossible. He said that we must deal with these things or they will return to us, perhaps in a different form, or through a different person, but the past will return again and again until we find resolution. Perhaps we had a violent relationship in the past and somehow we find ourselves in a situation very similar to this relationship a year later. My friend said that each time the past returned it was our chance to welcome it back in, or deal with it once and for all and be done with it. I like the Eastern approach to this concept. As our issue continues to line up and knock at our front door once a year we are invited to welcome it, embrace it and thank whatever the issue or problem was, and acknowledge that we no longer have any use for these things. Perhaps they served us well in the past, but in the present there is no place for such things. As we grow and evolve on a personal level, we may see that being manipulative in the past served us well and even saved us from any unpleasant moments in our lives. Anyone from a dysfunctional family, and I believe every family has their dysfunction, we may have had to use weapons instead of tools to get by. These things become a part of us and we find ourselves yelling at our friends like we used to yell at our siblings. It makes no sense to them, but to us it seems justifiable until the guilt sets in. I have learned that when these things return to me I can acknowledge them willingly and deal with them as they occur, but if I am not able to or if I just don’t want to, I know that they will return once again to knock on my door and ask for a little time and a lot of understanding.

Sasha White, the heroine in Immortal Beauty has to deal with her own past lives and accept who she used to be in order to be who she is today. She is my unwilling heroine, strong and feisty and used to getting her own way. She has no time or place for the past in her busy life and when it begins to intrude upon her lovely Parisian life, she becomes angry. I believe this is a common response to facing things unwanted but necessary. Sometimes anger can give us enough momentum to suit up and face the things that are pissing us off. There is the saying that those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it and when I was younger my grandmother warned me of going in circles. At the time I did not know what she meant. Now it is crystal clear. I have spent most of my life spinning in circles and repeating the same mistakes over and over again not realizing that it was me who was in my own way. We cling to things familiar. For humans the unknown is the most frightening yet compelling thing out there in life. I realize that many people reach a plateau in their lives and are happy to set up camp there and remain forever. As they grow older they act more and more like the parents they said they would never be like: the pattern is repeated and passed down again and again. There are others, however who reach the plateau and wonder what is over the next mountain. These people keep their eyes on the horizon and continue to move and change and evolve and grow into something completely different fromt he person they started out as. These people inspire me. They give me hope that I can finally embrace my past and set it free with a wink and a smile and set a course for a new world, a world that I help create and discover with renewed hope and wonder. I have learned not to regret my oh so sordid past and see it as a part of the whole. If we learn from our mistakes then they really are just lessons and nothing to be ashamed of. Breathe in, breathe out, release your pasts….all of them! Stay beautiful my lovely Immortals!

  1. Wow, Thomas this is deep and perceptive and something to which I totally relate. I don’t know what it is, but there does come a time when you see yourself without blinders, and realize the pattern starts with you. And by the second person “you” I mean third person “one”, naturally, but hey! Why be precise! 😉 I am always (sometimes literally) looking over the next mountain, ‘have never for a moment felt finished or done growing or becoming, and encourage and applaud you for you rcontinued quest to achieve harmony. Life is a journey.

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