IMMORTAL MELANCHOLIA

Posted: September 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

Did you ever have one of those days where it seems a better idea to pull the covers up a little closer than to cast them off and jump out of bed, ready to face another day? You know those moments when you just don’t want to put on the ‘face’ and face another day of people and protocol and civilized manners all abounding. There are times in life when it all just seems like it is too much trouble to go through the motions. It is easy to do as the carousel of life continues to spin around and around whether we are on it or not. We can jump back on tomorrow, or even a little later maybe. Depression and Melancholy are two hungry sisters who come to visit the writer when he is alone in the studio at night. There have been times in my life when it seemed that it would be easier to just give up. Why was I expending all this energy and effort into something that seemed indifferent to all my attentions? I realized that life does go on, with or without me and its vast indifference to my immense ego can be so unsettling at times I think to myself: “Why bother?”. These are passing moments and I’m sure we’ve all been there, but sooner or later we realize the coffee won’t brew itself and the dishes won’t wash themselves and that the ‘Big Parade’ truly is passing beneath our window and we feel the pull to return to the tide of events we call our life. We deal with our malaise and rouse ourselves up and find that we are swept along with everyone else on this mortal coil. The Immortals in my book have been alive for a very long time and I wonder if I had the same “luxury” as they did would my bouts of indifference become decades of melancholy? If I knew I was going to live forever I am sure I could convince myself that it really didn’t matter if I stayed in bed during the 70’s. It would, in the end, be no big deal. I had an eternity to make up for it. Time was on my side! I believe it is the fact that our lives are indeed temporary that we find the necessary impetus to get back in the ring before the bout is over. There is absolutely a preciousness that is a direct result of the ephemeral nature of being. I am only here for a minute. What am I going to do in that minute? How can I make a difference in the short amount of time I am here on earth? I have spent so much of my life trying to figure out who I was and now I have even less time to turn all that attention outward and see what is before my very eyes.  There is a quote from an Amy Grant song about her purpose in life and she sings: “I only have to do what I can find.”. I love this sentiment. I only have to do what is right in front of me in my life. This leads the way outward. If my friend is in need or I find a stray dog walking down my street, these are things I can do to make a difference and somehow leave the world a little bit nicer than how I found it. My entire life has been a movie starring me and I blame most of this on youth and quite a bit on my enormous ego which I have been chipping away at for years! Now that I am looking outward I see a world full of need. There are so many horrible things happening right now that I could easily pull those covers up tighter and tighter until I no longer see the suffereing and retreat into my sadness, using it as a reason to stay in bed, or I could see these things as a way to become truly Immortal by helping a hurt go away, or finding a home for that stray. I could clean up my sick friend’s house or volunteer at the hospital. I could leave a mark that has nothing to do with being famous or fabulous or wealthy. If I think this through, if I help to heal one hurt today or ease one pain, in a thousand years the entire world will be a different world than if I did not do these things. One small act of kindness lives on forever, changing the chain of events that were in play until you made a difference. On this day, the man in pain was touched by what you did and he tried to do the same for his family and they tried to do the same to their friends and on and on. On this day the world turned right instead of left and it became a better world. If you’ve lived long enough my Beloved Immortals you know that every event is connected and affects the entire web of life. Through our actions we become Immortal and in this way our very spirit lives on in this amazing and terrifying planet we call home. Stay Beautiful My Beloved Immortals! We live on and on!

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